Choosing Joy

I reread a post I had written a few weeks ago, and I can see that a shift in my thinking has occurred.  I wrote:

"While weight loss isn't my only goal, being overweight is one of the biggest factors keeping me from living joyfully and healthfully, which is my ultimate goal."

 And now I am challenging myself with this question.  Why is being overweight keeping me from living joyfully?  I'm calling bullshit on that.  Being overweight is not what is keeping me from living joyfully.  It's my attitude surrounding being overweight that is the issue.

The truth is, nothing is keeping me from feeling joy.  Nothing at all.  I can feel it right now, like flipping a switch.  It's a choice I can make in every single moment.

I acknowledge that it's not always easy, and when things are bad and problems occur that it's normal to become stressed out.  There's no reason I can't take a time out from that stress and decide to do something that feels good, that actually helps fix the problem.  I can decide to feel however I want about whatever comes up.

This is just a little pep talk for me because I'm gonna need to be reminded of this on a constant basis until it becomes easier for me to do.

Update:  I decided to put this into practice yesterday when I went shopping for some new clothes accompanied by my husband.

At one point while driving down the road I became aware, as I often do during the day, of one of my fat rolls because my arm was resting against it, and I started to feel bad.  Then I said to myself, "Unconditional acceptance.  Remember?  What is there to feel good about right now?"  and I realized it was a gorgeous day, and I was driving down the road with the love of my life, and despite the fact that I weigh over a hundred pounds more than the day we got married he still finds me sexy and gorgeous and he would do anything in the world for me, including going clothes shopping with me to provide moral support.

And then when I was trying on clothes I worked really hard to accept myself instead of leaving the store emptied handed, which I've done in the past because I didn't believe I was worthy of nice clothes, not in this big body.  I did buy a pair of jeans and a new set of pajamas.

It became very hard to feel joyful after clothes and grocery shopping because I made the mistake of wearing flip flops, and that combined with an activity level to which I've grown unaccustomed, set my dogs to barkin' loudly.

While I was in pain and sweating profusely the only thing I could feel good about was the fact that I'd be home soon and could relax and put my feet up.  Good enough.