Feeling empowered after a nice tarot reading last night, I got dressed this morning and made a healthy smoothie for breakfast. After breakfast my oldest daughter and I took a walk.
I have a standing, monthly lunch date with my mom, mother-in-law, and a few other relatives. We met last Friday and my husband's cousin's wife came for the first time with her daughter. I'll call her, "Lucy." When I heard Lucy was going to be there I almost stayed home because a few months ago she made a comment about my weight, and I've been avoiding her ever since then.
I decided, though, that part of loving and accepting myself is not caring about what people think of me and not letting their thoughtlessness be a reason to imprison myself, so I went to lunch. I was gracious and kind despite the fact that Lucy made a point of talking about nutrition and the small size of her portions as if she were "helping" me by being an example of discipline and righteous eating.
I would, however, love to be thinner next time we all get together because I feel so vulnerable at this weight, and Lucy let us know that she'll be attending future lunch dates.
I suppose seeing Lucy is why I have been thinking a lot about my weight again, and I why I, for the hundredth time, asked the tarot cards if I could expect success in losing some this time around, but I don't want to lose weight to impress Lucy and people like her. I want to feel my power and strength in the face of critics like Lucy no matter what I weigh, and I had the perfect opportunity to start practicing during my lunch date. Maybe that is where this new empowered feeling is coming from.