Grateful

This is a very good list!

10 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Make You Happier

Right now I'm combining 1, 4, and 5 by taking walks outside with my daughter, but I think I will work on intentionally adding the other items on the list to my life on a more regular basis.

I'm going to start with practicing gratitude by listing 5 things for which I'm grateful at the end of each of my posts.

I'm grateful for:

• the pretty dew laced spider webs we saw on our walk today.
• this gorgeous sunny day.
• my daughter who has made it her mission to get the two of us moving.
• the extra income coming in right now.
• friends who support me and lift my spirits.

Still Walking

I've walked every day this week except yesterday.  I was having a really heavy period day, heavier than I've ever had, in fact, and I just needed to take it easy.  I almost spent a few minutes feeling bad about myself because I had been going for a streak, and my streak only lasted three days before I needed to take a day off.  Instead, I decided that in this case a day off was a loving thing to do for myself not a failure, and that I could continue to love myself by getting right back to walking instead of giving up, which I did today.

In other news, I measured my waistline yesterday and it was 2 inches smaller than it was 2 weeks ago.  I'm not getting too excited about that because I could have had an extra bloated day when I first measured or it could just be that I bled my guts out yesterday and the night before.  Still, it's a whole lot better than measuring myself and finding that I had gained 2 inches!

Also, I ordered a new mattress today.  I'm hoping it is as wonderful as the reviews I've read and that I will experience improved sleep and that improved sleep will result in more energy and greater success as far as my weight loss goals are concerned.  I could be pinning a bit too much hope to this new mattress, but that is what I am hoping.  Delivery will be in 2-4 weeks.  I can't wait!

That's all!

Walking Again!

I wouldn't have noticed that my azalea bush was blooming for a 2nd time this year if I hadn't gone for a walk yesterday.

I just got back from a walk with my nineteen year old daughter.  We've made a commitment to start walking together every day.  Today was day two. 

My daughter wants to get moving because she had a very interesting experience this Summer.  Without even trying she became thin.  She's never been fat, but had a little muffin top that made her feel self-conscious.  Now it's gone.  The only difference was that we put up a 19x48 above ground pool, and she was out in it every sunny day, so she wants to keep getting some exercise so the muffin top doesn't return.

We're hoping to build a nice exercise streak and see some positive changes like improved sleep and more energy.  On the days that the weather is not cooperating we plan to play Walk it Out, a silly little video game that does manage to at least create some movement.  Right now, the weather is definitely cooperating, though, which helps motivate me to get out there, and I feel good about myself for doing it, so Yay me!

Easy or Not?

I did some morning sun salutes today to get the ball rolling on some physical activity again.  I love myself, and I'm learning to accept my appearance as lovely, but I do not like the way I feel physically.  I do not like the way I have trouble sleeping most nights.  I do not like waking up feeling stiff and sore.  I do not like the way I lose my breath just from showering and getting dressed quickly.

There is just no way around it.  I cannot be healthy and physically fit if I sit on my butt all day.

I did a Google search looking for affirmations that would help me enjoy exercise and found some nice ones at DrStandley.com, but I also realized why I resist the whole affirmation thing.  I read things like this: 

Remember to write or say any of the below listed affirmations at least 40X daily for 40 days. It takes 40 days to impress upon the unconscious "reacting" mind all that you desire and dream.

And this:

If you get side-tracked and miss a day then go back to Day 1 and start over.

And POOF!  Away goes that belief I've been embracing that changing a thought or pattern is, "easy."

Anyway, I'm going to forget I read that whole "40 times a day for 40 days," and "if you miss a day go back to day one," bullshit and keep saying to myself that I choose to believe changing a thought or a pattern is easy, and I'm going to work on adding a few nice things about exercise to my inner dialogue too. 

Maybe it does take 40 days of constantly saying something to turn it into an actual belief, but if that's the case, I'm not going to put myself through it.  I'm not going to give myself another reason to feel like a failure and like I can't follow through on something.  The TRUTH is, I have completed and followed through on many things.  There are times I have changed a thought or a pattern easily.  Or maybe it wasn't easy so much as something I was so invested in that the work didn't seem like a burden. 

It's time to be passionately invested in myself.

(That felt selfish and wrong to say.  I'll work on rewiring that thought too.)




 

Revisiting Affirmations

I like the idea of using affirmations to change thoughts and patterns that don't serve me well, and I've written and gathered several, but I've never had much success with them.  Last week in the comment section of my Goodbye September post, Eowyn suggested trying them again and provided a great one that she has used in the past.  "The truth is, I am fine exactly as I am."  I have muttered it under my breath to counter some of the critical thoughts I've had about myself in the last few days, and it does help.

Today I stumbled across an article about using affirmations.  Included in the article was an affirmation that resonated with me.

Maybe one of the reasons I find changing my habits and making better choices so difficult is that I have been telling myself over and over that it's difficult.  You hear it everywhere, "Change is hard," "Nobody likes change."  Before embarking on a new fitness program or diet we're often warned that, "Change takes hard work," but what would happen if I chose to believe that change is easy?

The difference I feel in my body is significant.  Normally when I think of trying something new to improve my life I immediately feel a burden, like I'm steeling myself for the hard work to come, but after saying, "I choose to believe that it is easy to change a thought or a pattern," I feel lighter and a sense of anticipation. 

I'm going to insert this thought into my inner dialogue starting now.  I'm excited to see how the changes I make will impact my life.

What To Do?

So, this weight thing.  I have to somehow harmonize my desire to love myself with my desire to lose weight.  The weight I've gained is causing me physical discomfort, and I think I may have gained even more because in the last couple of weeks my discomfort has grown more intense.

My back hurts when I spend even short amounts of time on my feet, and first thing in the morning I am so sore I can barely walk.  When I do walk I waddle like a woman who is nine months pregnant.  In fact, I weigh much more than I did during my pregnancies, so it's not hard to understand why I would waddle.  Also, perhaps it is middle age, but I am carrying much more weight up front in my abdomen, whereas before I would always gain weight all over.  This adds to the waddle factor.

I am still working on loving and accepting myself as I am right now, but I think it's time to put some effort into loving myself in tangible way.  A little extra work that will make me feel better and contribute to my good health is a way to love myself as long as I don't withhold joy and happiness from myself until I achieve a certain goal.  Before I was approaching the weight thing from a place of self-hatred.  Now I think I'm ready to approach it from a place of love and acceptance.

I don't think I'm going to get on the scale right now because it will upset me, but I am going to take a few measurements so that I can have an objective way to tell if I'm getting smaller or bigger.  Right now all I'm going by is that I'm waddling when I walk for the first time since giving birth to my last child ten years ago.

My first   plan of action is to begin writing a "to-do" list each night.  I've never been very organized, and although I have purchased multiple planners, organizers, notebooks, and systems to try to get organized,  I've never really been good at maintaining any of those.  I will try, once again, to make a small daily "to-do" list, though because I need a little extra direction right now, and I would prefer that direction come from my very own self and not from whatever impulse drives me in the moment because generally my impulses drive me to procrastination.  My challenge will be forgiving myself for not checking everything off of my list and keeping the list small.

I started today and accomplished all of the items on my list:  20 situps, clean out the refrigerator, get my youngest bathed, and make a loaf of French bread for tonight's dinner (tuna melts).  I've written my list for tomorrow, and mentally it is already growing as I think of other things I really should add, but I'm going to keep it as is for now.