I was wrong. I wasn't the fattest lady there, and I wasn't the oldest, and none of the ladies that worked there two years ago were even there. Besides, what if I had been right? So, what? It's funny (not funny, ha ha, but funny, odd) how I create scenarios in my head that keep me from doing the things I'd like to do, scenarios that paint myself as some distorted, ugly version of the truth. Maybe I'm trying to hurt myself before anyone else can do it to me, but the thing is, rarely does anyone ever hurt me in the way I fear they will.
Anyway, I have pretty toes today.
Excellent, I have never had a pedicure, and haven't even painted my own toenails in at least 5 years. Actually I am missing half a toenail on my left big toe; it got bruised underneath and later came off after a long hiking holiday in March of this year. You don't realise how long it takes toenails to grow until you're waiting for one to grow back! So there's another thing you can be grateful for--pretty and whole toenails!
ReplyDeleteI lost a toenail last year when a jar of juice rolled out of the back of my van and landed on my toe. They do take a long time to grow back!
DeleteFun! I like the pink toenails and the feisty shoes! I know what you mean. I do the same thing. I talk myself out of things due to fear, negative body image, etc. This is a big, big deal! I mean, it's a big deal to take care and love yourself and stand apart from what others think! I do strongly feel we are hardest on ourselves. And even if other were being evil and judgemental...well, why would we want to give them our power?
ReplyDeleteIt's an easy one for me to write about, but it's another thing altogether to really FEEL it. That's why I think the positive body affirmations I've been working on are so important--I need to integrate them into my subconscious...really believe it after a while.
XOXO!!!
MM
I keep telling myself I need to do affirmations, but like so many other things, I do it a couple of days in a row and then forget and sort of blow it off. I hope you'll share some of your affirmations on your blog. And you're right, it is a big deal. When I think of the prison I was making for myself, and sometimes revisit, I think it really is a big deal that I'm learning to make peace with myself and even, dare I say it, *love* myself.
DeleteHa, I've only had a pedicure once in my life, but I did enjoy it! My mum was over today, and had such lovely, red toenails, it made me think of it, and then I came here :) Your toes look adorable in pink, I'm so glad you didn't talk yourself out of going!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy having nice manicured toes, but I can't say I enjoy the pedicure itself. I can never relax because I can't get over the fact that a stranger who probably hates his or her job is offering a fairly intimate service. It makes me really uncomfortable. :-P
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